Sunday, 18 March 2012

the mother land

Its been a hectic 19 days since we returned to the shores of the mother land. First up was the jet lag. Traveling though 11 time zones with a short stop in the US took more out of us that we had expected. We did the right things like sleep in line with UK time but nothing stopped our bodies from waking up at 4 am and deciding it was time to get up. Back to normal now though.

Seeing our families has been lovely. We have just about caught up on a years worth of news. James and Carol have shopped and talked, Paul has decorated and drank with us and Hilary has taken us walking. On the friends front its like we have never been away. We have had 3 big nights out and after 20 minutes we are back to our usual self. There is one slight change though... with having no jobs to go to our curfew times have somewhat extended. Rolling back in at 5am is no bother! We have regailed all with stories from our adventures opting for the shocking and the funny. The best being killing the chicken in India, elephant washing Laos, guest house management, massages of the erotic and painfull variety, moped riding in Thailand, rugby world cup and our friends in NZ.

Now we would not like to suggest that we have had some from of radical transformation and become sloths. Most certainly not. We have applied for 16 jobs between us, transformed the back garden including decking (thanks Kevin) , painted lots of windows (thanks Paul) and began negotiations with estate agents. One had the gall to say they 'deserved 1% for selling our property". James has rented a flat for us in York (move in next week) and I have bought a car. Not just any car but a ford cougar. Some would call it a penis extension others a pimp car but for me it was a bargain at 650 quid! I also think its quite sexy but don't tell anyone!! I have also had a job interview and James has one next week. Hopefully there are more in the pipeline too.

In short its been a whirl wine few weeks. We are really looking forward to moving into the flat and get a proper base and begin to feel like we have a bit of structure. We have decided that we will live in York for 6 months and look for jobs after this who knows....

Thursday, 1 March 2012

it’s the time warp.

28/2/12-

We landed in San Francisco before we left Auckland. This messed with James made something rotten and I just wanted to know if it meant we would have to spend less time on the plane. Alas it was just the vagaries of the international time line. The journey its self was not too unpleasant. We have emergence exit seats on what could only be described as narrow. OK as we are not that large but the man next to me was and consumed his space, both arm rests and what felt like my space. I opted to turn it into an advantage and use him as something to sleep against so all was well.

Getting to San Francisco was relativity un painfully. Yes we were tired and yes we had class envy. First class has a bed and a bar. The free bag of nuts and a glass of wine in cattle class suddenly feels less fantastic! Anyway we landed and joined the line for immigration. James of course beg to sweat and look shifty so when we got to the official James got the third degree about where he was going, had been and how much money had had. The official that dealt with me simply looked at my onward ticket, noted it was due to leave in 4 hours and said ‘you going home then?’ I nodded and he stamped my passport after raping me of my personal data including 10 finger prints and an iris scan!
Unusually for the US there was a good public transport system from the airport to down town San Fran so with four hours before we were due to board another plane we decided to nip into town. Initial impressions are that few independent places to get food in the centre, the coffee is shit and there is a lot of poverty. That said we did rather like the 100meeters we saw and think we will return. The place had a buzz about it, it looked exciting and I was served a huge steak for lunch which always gets plus points in my books!

After an hour of freedom we were back in captivity and boarding another plane. Blissfully this was not too full so James and I were able to stretch out. All was pretty uneventful apart from when I brushed passed an air steward and dropped a sleeping tablet. 15 minutes of me and two staff scrabbling round on hands and knees followed. Funny for a spectator not so much for me. Yes even I got a little embarrassed!

Some 36 hours after we left NZ we were arrived in London. Despite the lack of welcoming party and five gun salute we are happy to be back on familiar ground. With a quick diversion to a remote stand as the air bridge was not working we were soon off the place and to passport control. Normally we don’t like doing the electronic enter but having given every personal detail short of DNA to the Americas we thought sod it and went through the new automatic gates.

Soon we were at Kings Cross with another 4 hours to burn. This time we opted for the Hobo look, put on all of our warm clothes, drank coffee and shivered on the concourse. The train to York was on time and 41 hours after we left NZ we were embracing Carol and Paul.

So being back. A strange mixture of being excited to see friends and family combined with a sense of uncertainty about what is ahead of us. The traveling was fantastic, living in a community even better but what next? I only have a plan for the next four weeks….

Leaving in 24 hours!

27/02/12.

This was the day of fond farewells. We saw Napier for the last time, had some tearful good buys and realized how much we were going to miss the place. In only six months we have made some fantastic friends, seen more of NZ than most Kiwi’s and fitted right into the Kiwi lifestyle loosely summed up as café’s, chardonnay, alfresco dining, hot tubs and relaxing. Napier and our friends there will always hold a special place in our hearts and we are incredibly sad to be leaving whilst looking forward to seeing family and friends in the UK.

28/2/12 All that’s got to go in one bag?
All that’s got to go in one bag? The task of packing felt akin to the biblical task of turning water into wine. Even after jettisoning all locations and potions the pile of clothes looked insurmountable. Having left the UK with a rationed amount of things we had somehow amassed rather a lot more. Some 2 hours of stuffing, sorting and downright brute force later and we were packed.

A leisurely lunch with Roger and Ross overlooking the sea and enjoying sunshine brought us to departure time. We arrived at the airport with rousing choral music and a tear in our eye. Farwell Napier!

After checking in I had to finally open the metal box marked travel home. How in god’s name would I survive 36 hours being cooped up on a plane? Salvation for James came in the form of being able to secure an emergence exit seat some distance away from me. Now sitting in Auckland airport wondering how I am going to sit still for all that time and who will talk to me. Arrrrrgggggghhhhhh!

PARTY time

25/02/12

Rousing James out of bed is never easy but trying to do this with the prospect of cleaning was even harder. Cattle prod anyone? We finished off the cleaning and gardening at the lovely 8 Burns Road and when it was all spick and span we found that we had become rather attached to our little blue house on the hill.

As now homeless and unemployed boys we shifted ourselves up to our next set of welcoming hosts- Roger and Ross. After an afternoon of pottering it was time for our party but alas the was a bloody Rod Stuart concert in town which was vying for our guests attention. Did Rod not know we were leaving, why did ne not postpone the show? So with depleted numbers we traipsed up the billy goat track to Alex’s fantastic pad. Known as the polystyrene palace due it its construction materials but also its opulence we installed ourselves by the pool and cracked open the wine.

James was under strict instructions not to push me in and he abided to these conditions. To begin with the party had an air of elegance and refinery about it but after a few chardonnays the music was turned up, the debauchery increased and the two17 year old girls (from the café I used to work in) will have plenty to talk about for some time to come! From the gay “art” on Alex’s wall to the lurid conversation combined with the fact that Alex is the local GP there was much gossip produced to keep the small town of Napier abuzzing!

As the evening wore on we ran out of wine and I was dispatched back down the billy goat track in the dark to replenish the stocks. Having sat on my bottom for some 3 hours and consumed a fair quantity of the local grapes I was rather drunk. The inevitable happened… I fell. Not just any old fall but a full on forward roll down 7 concrete steps. So here I am in the dark, bloody and bruised thinking am I still alive, have I broken anything and will they be disappointed if I don’t bring back the wine? The wine went by the wayside and I staged back expecting concern and sympathy but instead received mild interest (James did provide plasters though).

26/02/12 Hangover and some goodbyes

Oh oh oh we all had hangovers and not much occurred thought the day. Sun, sitting and siestas.

Thursday, 23 February 2012

24/02/12 OH god the furniture has gone

Sarah, John and James were ushered out of the house early as the second hand shop was coming to collect the furniture. On one of the hottest days of the year they arrived and we all huffed and puffed as we took the furniture down the many steps and loaded our items into the truck. It’s all a bit final now.

Post removal we swooped roles and James retuned to clean the house whilst I had lunch and played minute golf with Sarah and john. Later we returned to an empty house and amused ourselves thinking of the holiday catchwords which are as follows:

How do How do – James standard and very annoying greeting.
Titty sprinkles- not sure where that came from
Le Bo chauffer- James issuing his old business cards whenever driving anywhere
Will Bruce make it?- Our worries about the old boy on the many day trips out.
The tree oh the tree- after imbibing this is funny we assure you.

Post depositing S&J at the airport we had our final Friday evening staying with Tory as he has a bed and we don’t!

Luke and James have a Hippotastic time Luke and James have a Hippotastic time

17/2/12-23/2/12 Luke and James have a Hippotastic time

Well what and honour and a privilege it is to be blogging with the travelling adventures of Luke and James. We were welcomed at the airport by L&J and a ‘Sarah Hippo Hughes and Jon’ sign with pictures, like celebs. After travelling for 20 odd hours it was a slightly surreal experience but after settling into de chateau Rushby-Barnett and being fed and sleeping in a comfy bed. Some of my favourite things.

Jon and I amused ourselves for the first few days. You may have heard about the cycle ride and my pained labia (thanks Luke, that boy doesn’t know when and when not to share information). The city of Napier has a fantastic art deco style and Kiwi’s appear to be incredibly polite and cheerful – I’m totally envious.

We arrived in art Deco week where the whole town dresses up in 30’s gear – there were flyovers, posh 30’s picnics, depression themed dinners and splendid weather. I did see some heavy NZ rain though it’s nice to see rain in a new environment We also hopped down to the national aquarium and saw a Kiwi bird in captivity. It was bigger than I expected, much bigger than a hen…not as big as a badger.

We had 2 road trips which rocked. 1 down to taupo with le bo chauffeur were we saw lots of volcanic activity, mud pools (which much to my dismay I could not roll in), lakes in volcanic craters, took dips in hot spa pools (mmm), then a second with L&J for and overnight in Gisbourne, where they were intending to live when initially planning. Thank god Alice put them off, it a cool place to visit and according to Luke the surf is good, but it’s not as pretty as Napier.

Let’s not bore your pants off here….Time for a list…

Positives
Hot spas
Beautiful, beautiful scenery everywhere
Bird and cricket song
Ross’s wine tour
Kiwi’s do café’s/ food really well
Trees. Big, small, eucalyptus, tea tree, fruit. Wowsa, I love trees <3

Negatives

L&J will be marked down on trip advisor for the lack of fresh towels.
Mos-blooodly-quitos – I just can’t resist the itch.
Water slides. I will never be convinced again!


Despite my towel based concerns, I have to thank Luke and James from the bottom of my heart for inviting us to come and stay with them in the Southern hemisphere. They have been gracious and accommodating hosts and we have both had a fantastic time. Hard to think of a holiday that would surpass this really, a perfect mix of relaxed and seeing the best local sites from our ‘native’ hosts.

As I sit here on Thurs 23rd Feb surrounded by boxes, I realise that not only my short NZ adventure is coming to an end, but also Chimp and Koala’s. The UK will be glad to have you back, as will many people in it

Friday, 17 February 2012

A comedy of Errors.

11/2/12

Fir a leaving gift Roger, James David and I climbed aboard the shiny roger Mobil and headed to le-chatto or LC for short as I can’t really spell it. LC is a old old building well old for new Zealand being over 100 years old. It is built at the base of a still active volcano and a fantastic skiing place during the winter. In short it’s the place to go in the North Island.

So go we did until an hour into our journey rogers care blew up. Amazingly we had phone coverage and called in a tow truck but alas there was only space for 2 people in the truck so we had to call Ross who collected us and deposited us next to Bruce. We were all a little apprehensive when climbing into Bruce as the journey is four hours and Burse is not the newest car. Not to be deterred we set off and twenty minutes later decided to stop for a coffee, we had after all bee on the go for over two hours by this point. Coming to pay for the coffee Roger realises he has left his wallet in his car. With stifled politeness we turn round and head to the garage to retrieve said wallet. Guess what… the car was not there but in fact at another garage in the next town. At this point we agreed that it was likely that someone would die if we had to chase after the wallet so some three hours after our original start we were on the way.

Four hours or cumitivly seven hours later we arrived at LC. The sun was shining and the rooms came with complementary champagne so all was good. Booze relaxed us all as did a fantastic dinner and more wine followed by sitting in club chairs drinking Gin and Tonics. Good things come to those who wait.

12/2/12- SARAH AND JOHN IN DA HOOD

The return journey was uneventful. David and I walked up the mountain road, James and roger had a hot spa. The four hour return trip presented no great mechanical problems and before long it was time to collect Sarah and John.

Upon arrival at the airport S&J looked surprisingly sprightly. Much hugging and chatting consumed the night before falling into to bed.

13/2/12-17/2/12

With James and I still working albeit our last week Sarah and John were left to their own devices in the daytime. I would slope off from work to meet them for lunch and normally pick them at the end of the day to save Sarah the walk up the hill. Evenings were spent if typical S, J, L & J fashion… not doing very much.

It was with concern that I watched this pattern of events unfold. What would I fill my blog with? Salvation came when S&J announced they were going on a 20km bike ride. I knew this would provide some anecdote to replay but I was not quite ready for Sarah’s description of the negative effects bike riding caused on her body. “well all the pressure of my body is channelled down to the saddle and my labia are on fire.” Not quite what I expected.
Sarah and John have not been sloths whilst being here they have bike ridden, been to Toupo with James for a magical mystery tour, been on an art deco walk, eaten lunches and mooched around and cooked rather nice meals at night.

During this week James and I have both had our last days at work and are now unemployed. It was therefore fitting that on Friday night we went to a depression dinner as part of art deco weekend. James and I donned 3/4 length trousers, collarless shirts and waist coats and followed behind our lord and lady who were in there finery. Top hat, braces and frilly dresses. We hit the town and it felt like we have been transported back in time. Everyone was in Art deco clothing, the cars were art deco, the music art deco oh and the town is always art deco.

We arrived at the meeting point and were handed a tin cup for our soup starter. Next up was a walk through Napier following some bagpipes and passing by the wealthy people eating dinner in the street and waving to us from the veranda. This of course encouraged much rattling on our soup cups in the search of some spare change. Dinner was served in a big tent, on trellis tables accompanied by a 3 piece band. The food itself, meat stew, veg and potatoes was served on a tin plate which had to be washed before you were served your desert. Post dinner there was singing and old fashioned dancing which the older ladies really seemed to enjoy. I of course wanted to join in the gay gordens dance which was a cross between ring a ring of reses and spinning around on each other’s arms. As a young (ish) man I have never been in so much demand by old ladies who suddelny had a determined glint in their eye.

After dancing we were entertained by old planes doing loop the loops before heading up to the sound shell to soak up the atmosphere and watch a bit more swinging music before heading back to our colonial porch to watch the world go by.