23/10/11-28/10/11
What does a 6ft 4inch man need most in life? You’re thinking a sofa well even more than that? Can’t guess well it’s a bath. One small problem with that need is that we don’t have one and the landlord may object to us ripping out the existing bathroom and installing a bath.
So what is the solution? The numerous natural hot spas are too cold for James, digging a mud pit is not his idea of bathing and having a shower is not a long term option. So after some asking around I located a second had shop that sold baths. Not pretty baths but baths that have been ripped out during a renovation. This unique approach to recycling developed years ago as getting stuff to this small dot of an Island was hard so recycling was big even before the concept was developed elsewhere.
So after tracking down a shop I bought a second hand bath, plumbing and plug. Now where to put the bath. Outside- well we have enough space but it can get a bit chilly in the wind. Option 2 the shed. We have two and with some judicious cleaning and the draping of sheets from the celling to cover the fact it is a shed and we have a bathroom. The issue of waste water well dig under the shed and install a pip of course.
So during this week I have had a project and by Thursday night I was nearly ready for the inaugural bathing of the James. With minutes to go before the filling I was putting the finishing touches to the bath stabilisers (a pile of rocks) when disaster struck. I dropped a rock and split the bath down the middle. I am not known for the over use of foal and abusive language but by goodness I shouted, swore, my head span round and smoke came out of my ears. To make matters worse that bath was stable enough I just wanted to reinforce it!
Not to be put off the inaugural bathing I got out the handy role of gaffer tape and patched up the bath. James bathed and it was a success. That said James has now been back to the second hand shop and we have a new pre loved bath to be installed.
So apart from the saga of the bath we have been working. Money is tight with James on 3 days and me on the minimum wage. I worked out that after tax I only get $80 a day which is 40quid. This was rather depressing. This combined with the lack of job offers or come to think about it interviews and I am going slowly mad. I need some intellectual stimulation in excess of backing cakes. I was doubly depressed when two prospective employees contacted me but were put off by my 1 year work visa. Despite assurances that we could easily get an extension (we are not planning to) the interviews have not been forthcoming. Can I survive a year of café work? Watch this space to find out.
Ok so apart from being grumpy about work what else have we done. Well we have had a few friends over for dinner and I James and I have been playing with tractors on a vineyard. Ross our friend is setting up a wine tour (yes mum we have booked you on) and needed some help taking a huge table to the top of a hill. Always game to play outside we agreed. The only problem when the day came was the weather. It was raining. However we soon pulled ourselves together and remembered we were British and if we did not go outside when it was raining we would never go out back in blightly.
So in the cold yes cold rain we hefted a table onto a trailer, attached the trailer to a tractor and started our assent of the hill. All was well until the bolt sheared off and the trailer hit the floor mid-way up. After some repairs, grunting and lifting we were on our way again. Before long the table was situated and I had found vineyard worker who wanted some help in the fields. Whilst there is no pay I am quite partial to wine and just being outdoors for a few hours sounds good to me.
So in summery. We are settling in, have almost created a bathroom, I may be working outside, James is enjoying his job and the world of cakes is not too bad…
Friday, 28 October 2011
Labour Day… or a day off to you and me!
20/10/11- 24/10/11
Well it’s Labour Day which means we are not working. Yippee. So what do we do on a day off? We head to the local agricultural show. Before we arrived we picked Tane up a friend who agreed to take us to the show and give us free tickets. We agreed to pick him up from the house he was house sitting. The directions he gave us were simple enough but when we turned down a track and appeared to be heading into a field we thought we were lost. Alas no it was the tracks that lead down to this fabulous high end house with pool, manicured gardens and a swimming pool. Oh how we had house envy!
Once at the show we realised it was going to be hot hot hot. Being a good boy I slip slop slapped and put on some sun tan lotion. But as it got hotter I needed more and guess what there were handy dispensers all around the show ground. The highlights of the show included cake flavoured vodka, free tasting food, a race to start chain saws (hell yes that was fun) a sheep with 5 legs native to an area nearby (an extra lamb chop) a huge huge pig and a bull with an amazingly large set of balls.
The afternoon was spent pottering round in a topless car before heading back to the house for some more house sitting/ partying/ swimming and drinking. A proper Kiwi day.
Saturday and Sunday well that was work again for me and James relaxing on the sofa. There was a rather important event on the Sunday night. Rugby world cup final? Well we had a proper kiwi night out. After work we headed to Bruce and Marians house for a BBQ and some beer. The BBQ was loaded with meat and the fridge well stocked with beer. We ate, drank and shouted at the TV like it was going out of fashion. Fortunately but some would say undeservedly the all blacks won. This we decided was the best outcome for the collective mental health on the nation. All the TV has shown is the rugby it’s on the news, adverts and programmes has been rugby. There are signs everywhere and there is a real world cup fever here. Whilst the Americans may need to spate church and state I think the Kiwis may want to give rugby and state a trial separation!
Monday and it’s another public holiday and even better we got paid as it was our usual day of work. Again it was hot and sunny so we did what any self-respecting Kiwi would do and headed to the beach with another friend. It was amazing not having to go to the airport and fly to the sun. It’s here on our door step. The water was too cold and the current too strong to swim but our picnic and music kept us entertained. I again liberally applied sun tan lotion, and did not but, James did not but was also lobster free by the end but our friend Tory who is part Maori went red!
The afternoon was spent in our garden under the lemon tree playing cards before heading up to the bee hive of the gay mafia for dinner. In all a blissful day!
Well it’s Labour Day which means we are not working. Yippee. So what do we do on a day off? We head to the local agricultural show. Before we arrived we picked Tane up a friend who agreed to take us to the show and give us free tickets. We agreed to pick him up from the house he was house sitting. The directions he gave us were simple enough but when we turned down a track and appeared to be heading into a field we thought we were lost. Alas no it was the tracks that lead down to this fabulous high end house with pool, manicured gardens and a swimming pool. Oh how we had house envy!
Once at the show we realised it was going to be hot hot hot. Being a good boy I slip slop slapped and put on some sun tan lotion. But as it got hotter I needed more and guess what there were handy dispensers all around the show ground. The highlights of the show included cake flavoured vodka, free tasting food, a race to start chain saws (hell yes that was fun) a sheep with 5 legs native to an area nearby (an extra lamb chop) a huge huge pig and a bull with an amazingly large set of balls.
The afternoon was spent pottering round in a topless car before heading back to the house for some more house sitting/ partying/ swimming and drinking. A proper Kiwi day.
Saturday and Sunday well that was work again for me and James relaxing on the sofa. There was a rather important event on the Sunday night. Rugby world cup final? Well we had a proper kiwi night out. After work we headed to Bruce and Marians house for a BBQ and some beer. The BBQ was loaded with meat and the fridge well stocked with beer. We ate, drank and shouted at the TV like it was going out of fashion. Fortunately but some would say undeservedly the all blacks won. This we decided was the best outcome for the collective mental health on the nation. All the TV has shown is the rugby it’s on the news, adverts and programmes has been rugby. There are signs everywhere and there is a real world cup fever here. Whilst the Americans may need to spate church and state I think the Kiwis may want to give rugby and state a trial separation!
Monday and it’s another public holiday and even better we got paid as it was our usual day of work. Again it was hot and sunny so we did what any self-respecting Kiwi would do and headed to the beach with another friend. It was amazing not having to go to the airport and fly to the sun. It’s here on our door step. The water was too cold and the current too strong to swim but our picnic and music kept us entertained. I again liberally applied sun tan lotion, and did not but, James did not but was also lobster free by the end but our friend Tory who is part Maori went red!
The afternoon was spent in our garden under the lemon tree playing cards before heading up to the bee hive of the gay mafia for dinner. In all a blissful day!
Tuesday, 18 October 2011
Seeing more then the motel and an Irish bar…
09/10/11
Upon waking we resolved to see more of Wellington than the Irish bar and the motel bedroom. With this in mind we set off to the cable car that would take us to the botanical gardens complete with a look out over Wellington. After some two hours we had seen lots of pretty plants, been the dial of a sun dial (that said the time was wrong when we stood there) seen and observatory and generally pottered about.
Retuning to Bruce we set off to the other side of Wellington. As you know from our previous blogs such an activity in New Zealand does not normally present us with any serious traffic. Despite there being an international rugby match scheduled we had no problem driving just finding a parking space. Some 30 minutes later a nifty U-turn and some parking without regard to the junction nearby and we were ready to explore. One small problem… Bruce was a fair clip away from where we wanted to be.
Not to be deterred the three of walked along the prom and within no time were in the museum. We saw lots of things chronicling the innumerate seismic activity of New Zealand, learned how to earthquake our house and reviewed the immigration status of a number of people. Then came the interactive Hakka learning session. Well what a kafuffle. Alice could not get the computer to recognise her as a woman so did the man’s version and the three of us were less than convincing. The recording showed an overlay camp James, an uncoordinated luck and an overstretched Alice. Unsurprisingly we did not purchase the clip as a memento.
The evening well rugby of course. That said we decided to save some cash and reconvened to our motel for dinner and some sky TV rugby classics. Come on New Zealand!
10/10/11 Road trip part 2 and a strange strange local...
What a luxury it is to have a car. No more packing rucksacks and trudging to the bus station. Instead we though it all in Bruce and set off on our road trip part two. First up was gray town where the café, food and locality was far nicer then the name suggests. Soon after we were in Dannyberg which was co9led, smelly and damp. It did however herald the beginning of our adventure as here we turned right and headed off road. Alice best described the foray as “this is not just pissing pretending to be rural this is proper bloody rural.” Indeed she was correct as soon the road became a track, the only inhabitants were sheep and there was no one to meet… apart from some crazy local in his ute. We first met this gentleman complete with dirty trousers, cowboy hat and 5 days stubble, I a car park. He seemed odd but harmless enough. Sometime later we stopped to buy some duck eggs and he was there again. A little later we stopped at a pub for a drink but it was closed. As sure as day follows night he was there again. He ambled over put his arm on the door where the window was rolled down and began to talk. Soon after in a creepy manno9r he asked whether we were ‘looking for accommodation.’ At this point we were somewhat freaked out and James almost stamped on the accelerator to get away.
So why were we in the rural area? Well in true Alice, James and Luke style we were in search of the lesser visited waterfall. After following some rather sketchy directions we eventually arrived. There was not a sole about but there was a bin within which James found an old pair of flip flops that he thought he could use to protect his feet in the water! Well anyway we got down to the waterfall and it was beautiful if not a little cold. The sun had gone in on cue and it was rather windy. Not to be deterred I striped off and elicited a promise from James that he would join me in the water if I went in first.
After some counting down I took the plunge and jumped in. Out came an involuntary scream and much flailing about as it was so cold it took my breath away. For a few seconds I feared I would not be able to get out as I was freezing and it was slippy. With some effort and a few scrapes I was out. James and Alice decided that they would wait until summer to swim and I shivered away. It was there we realised that we had no photos of my heroic stupidity. The only sensible course of action… to jump back in and do it all over again!
11/10/11- 12/10/11 Alice last days
Our time with Alice was drawing to a close. How had two weeks gone by so fast. Why was one of our best friends due to get on a plane and fly 12,000 mile? Well because we had so much fun the time had flown by. Not to waste the last few days we embarked on a wine tour and a trip to the local pub for the quiz. One small problem on the quiz front we had zero kiwi knowledge. Despite this we did not loose coming a respectable 8th out of 12. This was due to James and Alice’s combined efforts as I am crap and read the newspaper throughout!
The last day and James had to go back to work. Alice and I hit the mean streets of Napier, enjoyed a breakfast and then headed off on an impromptu wine tour (without the tasting) with Ross. Originally he had asked us to lend him some muscle to help set up a table for his new wine tour venture. In the end the path was too muddy so instead we had a tour round, saw vineyards and visited an orange and lemon farm. This was very exciting for us somewhat common a garden for Kiwi’s as they all have them growing in their own gardens.
But no matter what we did to distract ourselves the time came for Alice to head to the airport and fly back to blighty….
13/10/11- 19/10/11 The week that was.
With Alice gone it was back to work and time to recuperate from the hectic pace we had maintained during her visit. The weekend was spent sitting in the garden and doing nothing save watch the rugby. Oh and the rugby what a poor decision to send of the Welsh man. How crap were French if they could not beet the Welsh by more than one point and without the sending off could we have seen a welsh victory. We will never know.
With the all blacks victory the collective mental health of the Kiwi’s is good. They have invested so much mental and physically they really need to win. A match against France should probably facilitate this.
Upon waking we resolved to see more of Wellington than the Irish bar and the motel bedroom. With this in mind we set off to the cable car that would take us to the botanical gardens complete with a look out over Wellington. After some two hours we had seen lots of pretty plants, been the dial of a sun dial (that said the time was wrong when we stood there) seen and observatory and generally pottered about.
Retuning to Bruce we set off to the other side of Wellington. As you know from our previous blogs such an activity in New Zealand does not normally present us with any serious traffic. Despite there being an international rugby match scheduled we had no problem driving just finding a parking space. Some 30 minutes later a nifty U-turn and some parking without regard to the junction nearby and we were ready to explore. One small problem… Bruce was a fair clip away from where we wanted to be.
Not to be deterred the three of walked along the prom and within no time were in the museum. We saw lots of things chronicling the innumerate seismic activity of New Zealand, learned how to earthquake our house and reviewed the immigration status of a number of people. Then came the interactive Hakka learning session. Well what a kafuffle. Alice could not get the computer to recognise her as a woman so did the man’s version and the three of us were less than convincing. The recording showed an overlay camp James, an uncoordinated luck and an overstretched Alice. Unsurprisingly we did not purchase the clip as a memento.
The evening well rugby of course. That said we decided to save some cash and reconvened to our motel for dinner and some sky TV rugby classics. Come on New Zealand!
10/10/11 Road trip part 2 and a strange strange local...
What a luxury it is to have a car. No more packing rucksacks and trudging to the bus station. Instead we though it all in Bruce and set off on our road trip part two. First up was gray town where the café, food and locality was far nicer then the name suggests. Soon after we were in Dannyberg which was co9led, smelly and damp. It did however herald the beginning of our adventure as here we turned right and headed off road. Alice best described the foray as “this is not just pissing pretending to be rural this is proper bloody rural.” Indeed she was correct as soon the road became a track, the only inhabitants were sheep and there was no one to meet… apart from some crazy local in his ute. We first met this gentleman complete with dirty trousers, cowboy hat and 5 days stubble, I a car park. He seemed odd but harmless enough. Sometime later we stopped to buy some duck eggs and he was there again. A little later we stopped at a pub for a drink but it was closed. As sure as day follows night he was there again. He ambled over put his arm on the door where the window was rolled down and began to talk. Soon after in a creepy manno9r he asked whether we were ‘looking for accommodation.’ At this point we were somewhat freaked out and James almost stamped on the accelerator to get away.
So why were we in the rural area? Well in true Alice, James and Luke style we were in search of the lesser visited waterfall. After following some rather sketchy directions we eventually arrived. There was not a sole about but there was a bin within which James found an old pair of flip flops that he thought he could use to protect his feet in the water! Well anyway we got down to the waterfall and it was beautiful if not a little cold. The sun had gone in on cue and it was rather windy. Not to be deterred I striped off and elicited a promise from James that he would join me in the water if I went in first.
After some counting down I took the plunge and jumped in. Out came an involuntary scream and much flailing about as it was so cold it took my breath away. For a few seconds I feared I would not be able to get out as I was freezing and it was slippy. With some effort and a few scrapes I was out. James and Alice decided that they would wait until summer to swim and I shivered away. It was there we realised that we had no photos of my heroic stupidity. The only sensible course of action… to jump back in and do it all over again!
11/10/11- 12/10/11 Alice last days
Our time with Alice was drawing to a close. How had two weeks gone by so fast. Why was one of our best friends due to get on a plane and fly 12,000 mile? Well because we had so much fun the time had flown by. Not to waste the last few days we embarked on a wine tour and a trip to the local pub for the quiz. One small problem on the quiz front we had zero kiwi knowledge. Despite this we did not loose coming a respectable 8th out of 12. This was due to James and Alice’s combined efforts as I am crap and read the newspaper throughout!
The last day and James had to go back to work. Alice and I hit the mean streets of Napier, enjoyed a breakfast and then headed off on an impromptu wine tour (without the tasting) with Ross. Originally he had asked us to lend him some muscle to help set up a table for his new wine tour venture. In the end the path was too muddy so instead we had a tour round, saw vineyards and visited an orange and lemon farm. This was very exciting for us somewhat common a garden for Kiwi’s as they all have them growing in their own gardens.
But no matter what we did to distract ourselves the time came for Alice to head to the airport and fly back to blighty….
13/10/11- 19/10/11 The week that was.
With Alice gone it was back to work and time to recuperate from the hectic pace we had maintained during her visit. The weekend was spent sitting in the garden and doing nothing save watch the rugby. Oh and the rugby what a poor decision to send of the Welsh man. How crap were French if they could not beet the Welsh by more than one point and without the sending off could we have seen a welsh victory. We will never know.
With the all blacks victory the collective mental health of the Kiwi’s is good. They have invested so much mental and physically they really need to win. A match against France should probably facilitate this.
Saturday, 15 October 2011
Rugby Rugby Rugby- Drink
08/10/11
By the time we surfaced and got out of the Moto lodge it was 3. As planned the night before we met up with T and went shopping… straight man shopping. In out purchase pub. Well I loved it James being tired accepted it but determined that next time we were in wellington we would “do the shops properly.” James is his mother’s child and I mine!
With two hours before kick-off for the Ireland wales match we were back in the pub. Using his Irish charm which I fell for T convinced me that he was good at applying face paint. Some 20 minutes later we found this not to be the case and I looked like I had green and white smeared across my face. I returned the favour but unfortunately did a good job so he looked out. Not to be outdone I headed to the toilets to apply more face paint. It was quite curious applying makeup in the lads of an Irish pub. No one batted an eyelid. Not sure that would be the case on a normal Saturday. Anyway after 10 minutes I looked good and then engaged in painting a few more girl’s faces. Now if I was in the market for a lady this would be my approach to chatting up the fairer sex. First they lean on your legs and smile and for five minutes they can only look at you. Straight boys out there take this advice and go forth!
Ireland lost although it was a fabulous atmosphere complete with a boom box playing fields of Ath and Rye. There was much singing, chanting and catcalling. Next up the English and they feared no better but the Irish did not get behind us instead supporting the French. 800 years of history mostly acrimonious appears not to predispose the Irish to joining in a chorus of swing low sweet chariot!
By the time we surfaced and got out of the Moto lodge it was 3. As planned the night before we met up with T and went shopping… straight man shopping. In out purchase pub. Well I loved it James being tired accepted it but determined that next time we were in wellington we would “do the shops properly.” James is his mother’s child and I mine!
With two hours before kick-off for the Ireland wales match we were back in the pub. Using his Irish charm which I fell for T convinced me that he was good at applying face paint. Some 20 minutes later we found this not to be the case and I looked like I had green and white smeared across my face. I returned the favour but unfortunately did a good job so he looked out. Not to be outdone I headed to the toilets to apply more face paint. It was quite curious applying makeup in the lads of an Irish pub. No one batted an eyelid. Not sure that would be the case on a normal Saturday. Anyway after 10 minutes I looked good and then engaged in painting a few more girl’s faces. Now if I was in the market for a lady this would be my approach to chatting up the fairer sex. First they lean on your legs and smile and for five minutes they can only look at you. Straight boys out there take this advice and go forth!
Ireland lost although it was a fabulous atmosphere complete with a boom box playing fields of Ath and Rye. There was much singing, chanting and catcalling. Next up the English and they feared no better but the Irish did not get behind us instead supporting the French. 800 years of history mostly acrimonious appears not to predispose the Irish to joining in a chorus of swing low sweet chariot!
A curious night out
07/10/11
The next morning came around all too quickly. We had set a total achievable target of leaving by 10 am but in our hangover state this morphed into 11am. More important matters were at hand. We needed to collect the car which entailed riding down the hill to collect it. Whilst I was there a bacon butty from Zig Zag was required and after all the faffing about getting ready we were behind schedule.
Upon hitting the freeway which was little more than a two lane road Bruce our car developed a temperature. Were we doomed never to get to wellington? Alice being the most technically minded amongst us instructed us to turn on the heaters to draw heat from the engine. It worked and Bruce cooled down but we sweltered at an uncomfortable 35 degrees for the five hour journey. Inevitably the windows had to we wound down so we ended up being a bbq in reverse. Our core and lower extremities were well cooked but our heads and necks were distinctly frozen. Where is my mother with a scarf when we need her? James had the right idea and curled up on the back seat and slept for the entire journey only waking for lunch at the 200km point.
After some hours and with numb bums we arrived in wellington and promptly fell into bed for an afternoon nap. Upon waking we hit the local restaurant for an amazing Turkish meal. After a quick was and applying some tutty to Alice we were on our bay to the big lights. After a month in wellington we were perturbed by the motorway and the seething mass of humanity albeit less crowded than York.
We stared the night sensibly enough catching up on old times, drinking rum and coke and chilling. Then came the shots always a bad idea particularly when they contain tequila. After trolling around a few bars we hit the big gay bar and whilst it was very nice inside it was rather dead. The teapots of cocktails and the circular pool table never the less kept us entertained.
Nicely lubricated we headed to the local Irish bar. With an Irish match the next day the pub was packed with paddies and they were very well lubricated. We got talking as you would expect and made all sorts of plans for the next day including shopping with a straight?? Lad (T) who wanted some help buying cloths as he felt intimidated by the sales ladies. Well they are scary sometimes.
As the night wore on we lost Alice and presumed she was off chatting to some nice hunk. Unperturbed we continued talking, parting and having fun. As 4am approached the pub was closing. Never one to leave a friend behind James sent a girl into the ladies to check Alice was not there. After prolonged knocking and name calling there was a response came from one of the cubicles “oh I am oh Not oh Alice oh Rawlings oh oh oh.” So we had both ascertained Alice was not there and we had disturbed someone’s nefarious activities. Still perturbed I agreed to check the other toilets. The only problem was a bouncer who stood in my way. Summoning up my best British accent I explained the situation and asked to check the toilets. The answer was no. I suggested that he should look. No came the response. Not to be fobbed off as we were a long way away from home I said I would not leave until one of us had checked the situation. The bouncer’s response was to pick me up and carry me out of the venue. The decision had seemingly been made… I would not be locating Alice!
A master plan then struck us- we should utilise the power of modern cellular technology and ring Alice. Upon entering the numbers we spoke to her via the medium of satellite link up and ascertained that she was not dead, in distress or unwell but was in fact having a whale of a time. Happy now we retired to the hotel and fell into a drunker stupor.
The next morning came around all too quickly. We had set a total achievable target of leaving by 10 am but in our hangover state this morphed into 11am. More important matters were at hand. We needed to collect the car which entailed riding down the hill to collect it. Whilst I was there a bacon butty from Zig Zag was required and after all the faffing about getting ready we were behind schedule.
Upon hitting the freeway which was little more than a two lane road Bruce our car developed a temperature. Were we doomed never to get to wellington? Alice being the most technically minded amongst us instructed us to turn on the heaters to draw heat from the engine. It worked and Bruce cooled down but we sweltered at an uncomfortable 35 degrees for the five hour journey. Inevitably the windows had to we wound down so we ended up being a bbq in reverse. Our core and lower extremities were well cooked but our heads and necks were distinctly frozen. Where is my mother with a scarf when we need her? James had the right idea and curled up on the back seat and slept for the entire journey only waking for lunch at the 200km point.
After some hours and with numb bums we arrived in wellington and promptly fell into bed for an afternoon nap. Upon waking we hit the local restaurant for an amazing Turkish meal. After a quick was and applying some tutty to Alice we were on our bay to the big lights. After a month in wellington we were perturbed by the motorway and the seething mass of humanity albeit less crowded than York.
We stared the night sensibly enough catching up on old times, drinking rum and coke and chilling. Then came the shots always a bad idea particularly when they contain tequila. After trolling around a few bars we hit the big gay bar and whilst it was very nice inside it was rather dead. The teapots of cocktails and the circular pool table never the less kept us entertained.
Nicely lubricated we headed to the local Irish bar. With an Irish match the next day the pub was packed with paddies and they were very well lubricated. We got talking as you would expect and made all sorts of plans for the next day including shopping with a straight?? Lad (T) who wanted some help buying cloths as he felt intimidated by the sales ladies. Well they are scary sometimes.
As the night wore on we lost Alice and presumed she was off chatting to some nice hunk. Unperturbed we continued talking, parting and having fun. As 4am approached the pub was closing. Never one to leave a friend behind James sent a girl into the ladies to check Alice was not there. After prolonged knocking and name calling there was a response came from one of the cubicles “oh I am oh Not oh Alice oh Rawlings oh oh oh.” So we had both ascertained Alice was not there and we had disturbed someone’s nefarious activities. Still perturbed I agreed to check the other toilets. The only problem was a bouncer who stood in my way. Summoning up my best British accent I explained the situation and asked to check the toilets. The answer was no. I suggested that he should look. No came the response. Not to be fobbed off as we were a long way away from home I said I would not leave until one of us had checked the situation. The bouncer’s response was to pick me up and carry me out of the venue. The decision had seemingly been made… I would not be locating Alice!
A master plan then struck us- we should utilise the power of modern cellular technology and ring Alice. Upon entering the numbers we spoke to her via the medium of satellite link up and ascertained that she was not dead, in distress or unwell but was in fact having a whale of a time. Happy now we retired to the hotel and fell into a drunker stupor.
YOUNG PEOPLE!!!
06/10/11-
Determined to find some nightlife and young people Alice and I headed out to a music night. James being the main bread winner needed a night on the sofa. The plan had been to drive down have some food enjoy the music and head home in good time as we were driving 300km to wellington the next day. The best laid plans… well suffice to say it did not turn out that way! We were too early for the music so a trip to the Irish bar lubricated us. Dinner followed by a bottle of wine signed the death nell for the car ride back up the hill and meeting lots of young people who were interesting was just the end. So in all we consumed too much wine listened to some fab music, talked politics and New Zealand life and only headed home once the money ran out. Sensibly we had taken a limited budget.
Arriving home both of us were steaming drunk. We greeted James with details of young people and nightlife in Napier. All was not lost. It was not a town of retirees but if you knew where to look there was fun to be had.
Determined to find some nightlife and young people Alice and I headed out to a music night. James being the main bread winner needed a night on the sofa. The plan had been to drive down have some food enjoy the music and head home in good time as we were driving 300km to wellington the next day. The best laid plans… well suffice to say it did not turn out that way! We were too early for the music so a trip to the Irish bar lubricated us. Dinner followed by a bottle of wine signed the death nell for the car ride back up the hill and meeting lots of young people who were interesting was just the end. So in all we consumed too much wine listened to some fab music, talked politics and New Zealand life and only headed home once the money ran out. Sensibly we had taken a limited budget.
Arriving home both of us were steaming drunk. We greeted James with details of young people and nightlife in Napier. All was not lost. It was not a town of retirees but if you knew where to look there was fun to be had.
Oh god work again
01/10/11-05/10/11
Back to Napier meant that there was no avoiding going to work. After 6 months off we remember how much work crimps ones style. That said we need money so we obliged. Alice spent the days catching up on sleep or exploring the locality. Being a part timer I normally managed top get away by 3 for a trip to the café or a pub. Evenings were again spent chatting eating out or playing backpacker… oh how we love backpacker!
Back to Napier meant that there was no avoiding going to work. After 6 months off we remember how much work crimps ones style. That said we need money so we obliged. Alice spent the days catching up on sleep or exploring the locality. Being a part timer I normally managed top get away by 3 for a trip to the café or a pub. Evenings were again spent chatting eating out or playing backpacker… oh how we love backpacker!
Wellington, a sheep’s arse and Rugby
30/09/11
Having a playmate I was able to leave James to catch up on his beauty sleep as Alice and I headed down to explore wellington. After breakfast where the sexy waiter more than made up for the shocking coffee we hit the shops. Not so much to shop just to potter around.
Later with James in tow we popped into a walking shop offering you the chance to put your hand up a sheep. As we were going to the Wales V Fiji match we decided to give it a go. Alas it was not a real sheep but never the less I did win a hat so we concluded that having fun with sheep was not just for the sole enjoyment of the welsh.
With a number of hours to go before kick-off we headed to a nail salon. Yes yes I know this sounds a bit gay and it was. I had a pedicure and manicure, Alice had her nails done and big gay rushby had a facial. During the course of this we got talking to the owners who were Chinese. We enquired as to where would be good to eat. The place they mentioned we knew and when we left we were sent on our way with a slip of paper which Chinese characters telling the restaurant what we wanted to eat. What a phenomenal success that was as the food was out of this world and to quote Alice “some of the best she had eaten.” Now that’s high praise from Alice as she knows her food.
Before heading to the match we hit the pub near the ground to watch the New Zealand match. Watching was a loose term due to the inordinate number of people in the pub and the lack of TV’s. Suffice to say the All Blacks won and we had got our beer jackets on ready for the live match we were to watch.
Now one thinks is does not rain abroad but as certain as day follows night you can guarantee that if James and I go to a match it will be cold and wet. Hamilton duly obliged and before long we were rather cold. Not to worry though as my Welsh flag looked good and the Welsh smashed the opposition wining very convincingly.
After a sodden walk back to the fan zone we once again found ourselves in the pub watching Ireland play. They won and we all headed back to warm up. We’re not a young as we used to be as we had planned to go clubbing but a nice hot shower and a bed was far more appealing!
Having a playmate I was able to leave James to catch up on his beauty sleep as Alice and I headed down to explore wellington. After breakfast where the sexy waiter more than made up for the shocking coffee we hit the shops. Not so much to shop just to potter around.
Later with James in tow we popped into a walking shop offering you the chance to put your hand up a sheep. As we were going to the Wales V Fiji match we decided to give it a go. Alas it was not a real sheep but never the less I did win a hat so we concluded that having fun with sheep was not just for the sole enjoyment of the welsh.
With a number of hours to go before kick-off we headed to a nail salon. Yes yes I know this sounds a bit gay and it was. I had a pedicure and manicure, Alice had her nails done and big gay rushby had a facial. During the course of this we got talking to the owners who were Chinese. We enquired as to where would be good to eat. The place they mentioned we knew and when we left we were sent on our way with a slip of paper which Chinese characters telling the restaurant what we wanted to eat. What a phenomenal success that was as the food was out of this world and to quote Alice “some of the best she had eaten.” Now that’s high praise from Alice as she knows her food.
Before heading to the match we hit the pub near the ground to watch the New Zealand match. Watching was a loose term due to the inordinate number of people in the pub and the lack of TV’s. Suffice to say the All Blacks won and we had got our beer jackets on ready for the live match we were to watch.
Now one thinks is does not rain abroad but as certain as day follows night you can guarantee that if James and I go to a match it will be cold and wet. Hamilton duly obliged and before long we were rather cold. Not to worry though as my Welsh flag looked good and the Welsh smashed the opposition wining very convincingly.
After a sodden walk back to the fan zone we once again found ourselves in the pub watching Ireland play. They won and we all headed back to warm up. We’re not a young as we used to be as we had planned to go clubbing but a nice hot shower and a bed was far more appealing!
Road trip
29/09/11
As is the custom when we have people visit we try to squeeze lots into our free time so we were off to Hamilton to watch world cup rugby. We had planned to take the bus but Roger was going that way and agreed to drive us. We had thought it would be a direct life but Roger stepped up and acted as our tour guide. On the way we saw all sorts of weird and geological bits of New Zealand. There were bubbling pools of hot mud, a Luna type end of the world landscape venting gas, natural hot spars, and a town that smelt of sulphur and a few cafes and cake shops along the way. With Rogers’s kindness we had transformed what was likely to be a boring bus journey into a magical mystery tour.
Once in Hamilton we hit the fan zone to watch the rugby. The match; England V Scotland. A furious sense patriotisms griped me and James and we cheered and shouted our way through the game and somehow it worked as England Won. They didn’t deserve to but they bloody well did. Come on England. Only 3 more games and you could win this thing. Optimistic yes but it’s always good to hope.
As is the custom when we have people visit we try to squeeze lots into our free time so we were off to Hamilton to watch world cup rugby. We had planned to take the bus but Roger was going that way and agreed to drive us. We had thought it would be a direct life but Roger stepped up and acted as our tour guide. On the way we saw all sorts of weird and geological bits of New Zealand. There were bubbling pools of hot mud, a Luna type end of the world landscape venting gas, natural hot spars, and a town that smelt of sulphur and a few cafes and cake shops along the way. With Rogers’s kindness we had transformed what was likely to be a boring bus journey into a magical mystery tour.
Once in Hamilton we hit the fan zone to watch the rugby. The match; England V Scotland. A furious sense patriotisms griped me and James and we cheered and shouted our way through the game and somehow it worked as England Won. They didn’t deserve to but they bloody well did. Come on England. Only 3 more games and you could win this thing. Optimistic yes but it’s always good to hope.
Alice has landed
28/09/11- 29/09/11
ALICE IS HERE. Yippee. James was dispatched to collect her from the airport but managed to walk straight past her. Yes we know he is not the most observant person but this time it was due to Alice or shall we call her the ever disappearing Alice for she has shrunk. When we left the UK Alice was on regime aka weightwatchers and my goodness the effect shave been dramatic.
So once Alice had captured James the catching up began and within three days it was like we had never been apart. There was lots of wine and coffee drinking, games of backpacks and a rundown of what all our friends were up to. Despite suffering from jetlag and the ill effects of a few days partying hard in Bangkok Alice was soon on top form.
The days before the weekend we spent pottering around Napier, with lots of café stops and much more chatting. Unfortunately the working man of the house had to do just that leaving Alice and I udels of time to catch up. Some of the days were sunny so we spent them walking and popping into op shops (second-hand shops). In one particularly fabulous shop we interrupted three octangerians having afternoon tea. These very civilised old ladies were most concerned out our skin as it was hot out there and we would burn. But the old rule of never judge and old person to be boring came to the fore as one of them described trying to drive into York in the UK. “Well you see the traffic was awful with so many roundabouts that we just could not get in so we thought bugger that and headed off to the pub.” Alice and I did a double take at this old ladies swearing. Is this an insight into what my mother is like when working at the charity shop. Surly not???
ALICE IS HERE. Yippee. James was dispatched to collect her from the airport but managed to walk straight past her. Yes we know he is not the most observant person but this time it was due to Alice or shall we call her the ever disappearing Alice for she has shrunk. When we left the UK Alice was on regime aka weightwatchers and my goodness the effect shave been dramatic.
So once Alice had captured James the catching up began and within three days it was like we had never been apart. There was lots of wine and coffee drinking, games of backpacks and a rundown of what all our friends were up to. Despite suffering from jetlag and the ill effects of a few days partying hard in Bangkok Alice was soon on top form.
The days before the weekend we spent pottering around Napier, with lots of café stops and much more chatting. Unfortunately the working man of the house had to do just that leaving Alice and I udels of time to catch up. Some of the days were sunny so we spent them walking and popping into op shops (second-hand shops). In one particularly fabulous shop we interrupted three octangerians having afternoon tea. These very civilised old ladies were most concerned out our skin as it was hot out there and we would burn. But the old rule of never judge and old person to be boring came to the fore as one of them described trying to drive into York in the UK. “Well you see the traffic was awful with so many roundabouts that we just could not get in so we thought bugger that and headed off to the pub.” Alice and I did a double take at this old ladies swearing. Is this an insight into what my mother is like when working at the charity shop. Surly not???
Thursday, 13 October 2011
A Great Chimps Thoughts on Work, Life and Health in the Land of the Long White Cloud
OK, first things first. It has been an absolutely chaotic time in our first 4 weeks in New Zealand.
OK, it has not been helped by the fact that we actually didn’t do an awful lot that required the firing of brain cells in the 6 months prior to our arrival, but very busy nevertheless . New home. New car. New bank. New tax number. New job. New friends. New bills!
You come to a land 12,000 miles away from home. It looks, sounds, and smells a little like home, a lot like home at times. But there are subtle differences that sort of bite you on the arse at times and make you feel a little inadequate and stupid.
This could be wanting to know the way to the Post Office, erm, surely you mean the PostShop (not to be confused with the Postshop). There is also a clothes shop called Postie…confusing!
This could be wanting to calmly and safely turn left at a junction, until you are suddenly made clear that the car who wants to turn right into your road has priority.
This could be wanting to order a new examination bed and finally discovering that Kiwi’s call them plinths.
This could be wanting to know why why why in a country seemingly committed to bi-culturism and the Treaty of Waitangi, the Pakeha (NZ European’s/White’s) behave so badly towards the Maori (Indigenous population) - especially in private.
Don’t get me wrong, this is a fabulous country. The area we live in is doubly fabulous. The general impression is that New Zealand is a bit like England, but it WORKS. I have been so impressed by fact that people seem to enjoy their jobs and work hard. Good customer service and general cleanliness and politeness are endemic, and it rubs off. I honestly felt a little suspicious about why everyone was so nice. It really isn’t the English way. And for those of you who say it is, you are wrong, we just think we are polite, we are very wrong.
Napier itself is a place that was near levelled by an earthquake in the 1930’s, something you will be told about endlessly. The resulting rebuild created an area of almost unique ubiquitous Art Deco architecture. This is combined with the wide open streets, single level detached properties on decent plots of land, the presence of the beach and sea, Mediterranean climate, Café culture, and comparative affluence, creates an area enabling a high quality of life with a mix of almost knowing smugness. It really is very nice. Maybe too “nice” at times.
It is not the most culturally knowing place in the world or the trendiest. It really could do with some more nightlife. The high quality of life here and general relaxed pace numbs people into a very Kiwi stupor so it lacks of bit of vive about the place. I am almost paining for a bit of grime and a knife crime or five. You don’t realise just how much energy there is in British cities and how much this guides our daily lives. We are also desperately missing the BBC News and Radio, especially politics as this tends to prompt a bit of heated discussion on the sofa on our lazy evenings home. And we are missing regular contact with our friends and families.
Starting work again has of course been the biggest shock. One of the reasons for choosing New Zealand was, I thought, the relative ease within which I could slot into the health system. Although I am still sure that it must be one of the easiest countries in the world that an English trained nurse could migrate to, it has still been surprisingly hard.
I think some of this is that the NHS is not just a health service, it is very much part of the British psyche. Changes in the NHS tend to be discussed widely so knowledge of its workings tends to be become ingrained over time. I arrived in work fresh off the boat and didn’t (and don’t) have a cultural familiarisation on which to build.
Funding arrangements are very different. The British have got used to having a health system free at the point of need. I cannot tell you how dirty it felt when I had to pay for seeing a GP and then pay for each and every blood test that was ordered (I am fine BTW!). Although there are some concessions available for various groups, no Kiwi can get out of paying for a GP visit, which has led to many services been secondary care led, with hospital services facing a dual challenge from both the patient and the GP when trying to discharge care back in the primary setting.
This is a bit bonkers when you consider the distances that patients can travel in order to access health care. New Zealand is VERY rural in parts and it is not unusual for patients to travel 2-3 hours to come to my unit for treatment.
Just some idea about population density here:
Rochdale. Population approximately 200,000. Square miles approximately 20.
Hawkes Bay. Population approximately 155,000. Square miles approximately 5,500.
Crazy eh! And if you want chemo, my “Villa” is the only place you can go!
One of the major problems I have faced is, bizarrely, acronyms. I simply didn’t realise how much health staff (myself included I suppose) spoke in these riddles. It is incredibly isolating not to know the “language”, especially when I spent 3 years training and 6 years working in the “club”. PAL’s doesn’t mean Patient Advice and Liaison Service (Complaints Advocacy) but rather Payroll and….erm, see, I still don’t know! The Health Care Assistants are called Associates and don’t actually do any clinical care (a subject in itself). The Porters are called Orderlies. Estates are called BIEM’s (don’t ask, don’t know). When working with policies, procedures, contracts it is much much worse, with these bloody codes being bounced across the table like ping pong, whilst my brain slowly melts.
Needless to say the learning curve I have experienced in my new post as CNM (any guesses?) – Clinical Nurse Manager, has been so beyond vertical that I think I actually know less now than I did a month ago. There has been so much expectation about my arrival it is hard to anticipate how I will ever satisfy. There is so much to learn, and so quickly. I suddenly need to know everything about everything, when the whole focus of my previous clinical practice has been to narrow and focus and specialise. To try and do this with without an underlining foundation of knowledge in systems, language and process (which I would have in the NHS) is just overwhelming.
That said, people do seem impressed with me. Which is lovely and massively heartening. I really would have left by now if it wasn’t for the Clinical Nurse Specialist’s support and advice and encouragement. Had a major success with getting a room back from a different service resident on the Villa (6 year history, 3 weeks in and Jimbo got the builders in! Oh yes!). I also keep asking the silly questions. My general musings today in a meeting seem to have generated a renegotiation of the contract with the tertiary centre. Health staff the world over spend so much time on the minutiae of “interior design” they don’t step back and see that the building “foundations” are royally buggered and in the wrong place. It is sometimes good to be the outsider.
I am also strangely enjoying being a manager. Sometimes. Sometimes I hate it and just want to go make the patients cups of tea and make a few beds. But sometimes, sometimes it is so empowering to actually be able to make the decisions that you want making and actually get things done the way that you know things should be done. I am probably not the most natural at it in the world. I am probably too nice and always wanting consensus, but I am adapting and learning, slowly accepting that running a unit well is not about making friends and recognising that you will never make everybody happy all of the time. It is strange not been able to be involved in a bitch and a moan. It is also strange when conversation suddenly stops when you walk in the room. Not because they don’t like me, but rather that I am their manager and that changes the dynamic. I did it. People now do it to me. It is just different, and rather odd.
Just as an aside, I’ll finish on something that bridges health and general interest. You cannot sue anybody for personal injury in New Zealand. No “Slips, Trips or Falls? Claim NOW!” No ambulance chasing lawyers in A&E departments. Every employee pays a small premium each month for ACC cover – Accident Compensation Scheme. If you are injured at work or on the road or wherever, this covers you for health costs, lost work time, rehabilitation expenses, whatever. It is great. Car insurance here costs us 38 pounds sterling…for the year! We thought that was the roadside assistance cover or something! At home this insurance would cost us over 1000 pounds sterling for the year, at least. Just a thought for the UK government there. New Zealand copies a LOT of English ideas but the no litigation thing is definitely something that we should try out.
Enough for now!
OK, it has not been helped by the fact that we actually didn’t do an awful lot that required the firing of brain cells in the 6 months prior to our arrival, but very busy nevertheless . New home. New car. New bank. New tax number. New job. New friends. New bills!
You come to a land 12,000 miles away from home. It looks, sounds, and smells a little like home, a lot like home at times. But there are subtle differences that sort of bite you on the arse at times and make you feel a little inadequate and stupid.
This could be wanting to know the way to the Post Office, erm, surely you mean the PostShop (not to be confused with the Postshop). There is also a clothes shop called Postie…confusing!
This could be wanting to calmly and safely turn left at a junction, until you are suddenly made clear that the car who wants to turn right into your road has priority.
This could be wanting to order a new examination bed and finally discovering that Kiwi’s call them plinths.
This could be wanting to know why why why in a country seemingly committed to bi-culturism and the Treaty of Waitangi, the Pakeha (NZ European’s/White’s) behave so badly towards the Maori (Indigenous population) - especially in private.
Don’t get me wrong, this is a fabulous country. The area we live in is doubly fabulous. The general impression is that New Zealand is a bit like England, but it WORKS. I have been so impressed by fact that people seem to enjoy their jobs and work hard. Good customer service and general cleanliness and politeness are endemic, and it rubs off. I honestly felt a little suspicious about why everyone was so nice. It really isn’t the English way. And for those of you who say it is, you are wrong, we just think we are polite, we are very wrong.
Napier itself is a place that was near levelled by an earthquake in the 1930’s, something you will be told about endlessly. The resulting rebuild created an area of almost unique ubiquitous Art Deco architecture. This is combined with the wide open streets, single level detached properties on decent plots of land, the presence of the beach and sea, Mediterranean climate, Café culture, and comparative affluence, creates an area enabling a high quality of life with a mix of almost knowing smugness. It really is very nice. Maybe too “nice” at times.
It is not the most culturally knowing place in the world or the trendiest. It really could do with some more nightlife. The high quality of life here and general relaxed pace numbs people into a very Kiwi stupor so it lacks of bit of vive about the place. I am almost paining for a bit of grime and a knife crime or five. You don’t realise just how much energy there is in British cities and how much this guides our daily lives. We are also desperately missing the BBC News and Radio, especially politics as this tends to prompt a bit of heated discussion on the sofa on our lazy evenings home. And we are missing regular contact with our friends and families.
Starting work again has of course been the biggest shock. One of the reasons for choosing New Zealand was, I thought, the relative ease within which I could slot into the health system. Although I am still sure that it must be one of the easiest countries in the world that an English trained nurse could migrate to, it has still been surprisingly hard.
I think some of this is that the NHS is not just a health service, it is very much part of the British psyche. Changes in the NHS tend to be discussed widely so knowledge of its workings tends to be become ingrained over time. I arrived in work fresh off the boat and didn’t (and don’t) have a cultural familiarisation on which to build.
Funding arrangements are very different. The British have got used to having a health system free at the point of need. I cannot tell you how dirty it felt when I had to pay for seeing a GP and then pay for each and every blood test that was ordered (I am fine BTW!). Although there are some concessions available for various groups, no Kiwi can get out of paying for a GP visit, which has led to many services been secondary care led, with hospital services facing a dual challenge from both the patient and the GP when trying to discharge care back in the primary setting.
This is a bit bonkers when you consider the distances that patients can travel in order to access health care. New Zealand is VERY rural in parts and it is not unusual for patients to travel 2-3 hours to come to my unit for treatment.
Just some idea about population density here:
Rochdale. Population approximately 200,000. Square miles approximately 20.
Hawkes Bay. Population approximately 155,000. Square miles approximately 5,500.
Crazy eh! And if you want chemo, my “Villa” is the only place you can go!
One of the major problems I have faced is, bizarrely, acronyms. I simply didn’t realise how much health staff (myself included I suppose) spoke in these riddles. It is incredibly isolating not to know the “language”, especially when I spent 3 years training and 6 years working in the “club”. PAL’s doesn’t mean Patient Advice and Liaison Service (Complaints Advocacy) but rather Payroll and….erm, see, I still don’t know! The Health Care Assistants are called Associates and don’t actually do any clinical care (a subject in itself). The Porters are called Orderlies. Estates are called BIEM’s (don’t ask, don’t know). When working with policies, procedures, contracts it is much much worse, with these bloody codes being bounced across the table like ping pong, whilst my brain slowly melts.
Needless to say the learning curve I have experienced in my new post as CNM (any guesses?) – Clinical Nurse Manager, has been so beyond vertical that I think I actually know less now than I did a month ago. There has been so much expectation about my arrival it is hard to anticipate how I will ever satisfy. There is so much to learn, and so quickly. I suddenly need to know everything about everything, when the whole focus of my previous clinical practice has been to narrow and focus and specialise. To try and do this with without an underlining foundation of knowledge in systems, language and process (which I would have in the NHS) is just overwhelming.
That said, people do seem impressed with me. Which is lovely and massively heartening. I really would have left by now if it wasn’t for the Clinical Nurse Specialist’s support and advice and encouragement. Had a major success with getting a room back from a different service resident on the Villa (6 year history, 3 weeks in and Jimbo got the builders in! Oh yes!). I also keep asking the silly questions. My general musings today in a meeting seem to have generated a renegotiation of the contract with the tertiary centre. Health staff the world over spend so much time on the minutiae of “interior design” they don’t step back and see that the building “foundations” are royally buggered and in the wrong place. It is sometimes good to be the outsider.
I am also strangely enjoying being a manager. Sometimes. Sometimes I hate it and just want to go make the patients cups of tea and make a few beds. But sometimes, sometimes it is so empowering to actually be able to make the decisions that you want making and actually get things done the way that you know things should be done. I am probably not the most natural at it in the world. I am probably too nice and always wanting consensus, but I am adapting and learning, slowly accepting that running a unit well is not about making friends and recognising that you will never make everybody happy all of the time. It is strange not been able to be involved in a bitch and a moan. It is also strange when conversation suddenly stops when you walk in the room. Not because they don’t like me, but rather that I am their manager and that changes the dynamic. I did it. People now do it to me. It is just different, and rather odd.
Just as an aside, I’ll finish on something that bridges health and general interest. You cannot sue anybody for personal injury in New Zealand. No “Slips, Trips or Falls? Claim NOW!” No ambulance chasing lawyers in A&E departments. Every employee pays a small premium each month for ACC cover – Accident Compensation Scheme. If you are injured at work or on the road or wherever, this covers you for health costs, lost work time, rehabilitation expenses, whatever. It is great. Car insurance here costs us 38 pounds sterling…for the year! We thought that was the roadside assistance cover or something! At home this insurance would cost us over 1000 pounds sterling for the year, at least. Just a thought for the UK government there. New Zealand copies a LOT of English ideas but the no litigation thing is definitely something that we should try out.
Enough for now!
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