Hilly the intrepidus

04/01/11 Hilly the intrepidus

We are off on our adventure and after loading up the car hit the roads. After a small stop in the quake damaged town of lyttleton we arrived at the She café. A restaurant specialising in chocolate. Delicious! Next up was an adventure down an unsealed road which Hilly was not happy about. We survived but it did not improve the collective mood of the group. That said it was adventurous!

Arriving in Akaroa moods calmed and we hit the shops to stock up for our four day track. After packing the bags we congregated at the allotted spot outside the tourist information centre before being picked up to being what became known as the hilly intrepidus adventure!

Our first nights’ accommodation was a short drive and walk up a hill overlooking a fantastic visa. With hilly purse we opted to go out for dinner as opposed to eating in. The booking was at the bush café which we knew would be basic and a little remote but noting prepared us for the 20 minute walk through the bush, dogging cows and over a stream. The final scrabble up a bank was the last straw with Hilary and James returning to the accommodation and me tuning dinner into a takeaway experience.

The patron was less than impressed and monosyllabic in his responses but eventually agreed to put the food into a few Tupperware pots. My journey back though a different set of fields saw me dodging a playfully young bull that was intrigued to see me and wanted to try out his mating technique with me. Alas he was 1 tone and I declined his advances.

Post dinner (which was lovely) we settled in to watch the sunset. Hillary and I slept on the mezzanine with James in an oversized rabbit hutch in the garden. Now this is not cruelty to chimps but in fact an opportunity to sleep in a star gazer hut which was a rabbit hutch with a plastic roof giving viewing access to the sky.

As we were going to sleep Hillary came out with the line of the day… ”I have never been camping before!” Camping I spluttered “this is luxury accommodation combined with a walk. Camping indeed! “

05/01/11 Hilly Olympics

The scheduled wake up time was 7am but at 615 Hilary decided to engage in some hilly Olympics. Somehow she managed to bag around on the floor and move every item we owned in search of ‘teeeee bags’ “where are the teeee bags.’ After successfully annoying me and disturbing me she headed down stairs to talk to the other guests and was again heard saying “I need a cup of tea. Do you have any tea bags?” Fortunately for me and the other guests a tea bag was proffered and the hilly clamed.

Hillary and I set off at 8am leaving James in his hutch. Again not cruelty to chimps but an agreed plan to enable us to walk slowly and for James to get his beauty sleep. First up for the day was an unrelenting hill climb. Hilary was of the view if she could crack this and the whole of the first day then she would be ok. The rational being that the next few days were shorter walks and the last day whilst long could always is opted out of.

We were rewarded with stunning views and fantastic weather. This was made even better by the fact that there was a bag transportation option for the first day. As such we could stroll along with just a day pack and our bags would be waiting for us at the next nights’ accommodation. Towards the end of the five hour walk Hilary was tired in in her typically matter of fact approach to life she demanded a lie down. Before you could count to ten she was on the floor with her hat pulled over her eyes. A mere 15 minutes later she was revived and we were soon at our accommodation.

This night was spent in an old house with stunning views across the sea. Hillary had got rather hot on the walk and decreed that we should go for a swim in the sea. Whilst Hillary may have been hot the rest of us were not and the local kiwi’s looked aghast (that said the other mad ones also decided to swim). As a good son I striped to my trunks and headed to the freezing sea. I watched Hilary wade in yelping as she went. I formed a mental pact that if she fully submerged then I would go in and dam it she did so before long we were both in the freezing sea.
Once back at the house the three of us got talking and before long we engaged in great discussions with Joyce and Dave. Wine was shared and over dinner it was agreed that I would cook for us all the following night and that we would also have dinner at Joyce’s B&B when we visited Dunedin.

Post dinner we headed off on a penguin spotting tour. He we were shown nesting little blue penguins, baby little blue penguins and observed penguins frolicking in the sea. Bloody fantastic and by the time of 9pm we were all tucked up in bed and sound asleep!

06/01/11 Sex and the over 50’s
Now that plan had been to get up at 7 but the activity of the day before had tired us out and we all slept for 11 hours waking at 8am. After packing and the obligatory cup of tea we set off. Unfortunately we missed the signs and headed down the wrong path. All was not good but none of us were sure we were on the wrong pact and no one wanted to turn around. As the path dropped into the sea we came to the collective decision that we had indeed gone the wrong way.

40 minutes later and we were heading in the right direction once more. Normally such a detour is not a problem but today we had full packs. James was lugging his stuff around an I carried a super pack containing both mine and Hilary’s items. One was less than impressed to find the mouth piece for her horn had slipped into the bag. Well at least if we were attached she would be able to practice and have the usual effect of sending everything within 50 meter radius running for cover with blood running from the ears.

After another fantastic days walking along the cost seeing stunning sea inlets, seals playing on the beach and numerous stops to admire the view we arrived at the next nights’ accommodation. This time we were in a converted ramshackle house with no electricity but an very eccentric owner who had an eye for details. There was an outside bath heated by fire wood, a tree swing with an arc of 25 meters, a pool table with tin cans to collect the pool balls, an indoor out door bbq area and more.

Of course the first thing James did was to light the bath and after a few hours, a sleep and a beer it was time for the hilly bathing adventure. We popped down a piece of wood on the base of the bath to prevent a burned bum and she hopped/ hobbled in. After an amazingly relaxing oh 8 minutes there came a call. “Luke, James it’s time for me to get out, come help.” We considered leaving her there to boil thus becoming dinner but in the end decided to help her out. Once out she was rather hot so purely for health reasons and not in any way because it amused me I doused her with a watering can of cold water.

Dinner was with Joyce and Dave and consisted of a visit to the onsite shop. Now this is like not ordinary camping shop but in fact sold steak, fresh veg and booze. Of course this mean we had to have BBQ steak, salad, and chips. All was going well until I went to the toilet and during the 2 minutes I was away James and Joyce helpfully poured out the “water” from the potatoes because they were cooked. Unfortunately I had already undertaken this procedure and they were in fact pouring away the oil I was frying the potatoes in. A scene of calamity therein followed with concerns that there was no more oil. Fortunately for my chips and those concerned the oil was sourced and the bruised and bashed potatoes began another frying.

In the end dinner was well received and we spent the evening talking to Joyce and Dave. Now this couple aged 50 and 60 are a new couple and very much in love. There is frequent hand holding, kissing, diapering into the woods and sexual innuendo. James has decided that the over 50’s do indeed have sex and it’s not disgusting as he previously thought. Even better for me he decreed that so long as I look like Dave at 60 he will not call time for our nocturnal adventures. Thank god for that!
07/01/11 They “MUST be spies”
Before heading out we had a full breakfast curtsey of the well-stocked shop. On the shop front this is actually a shed with a fridge in it and an honesty system for payment. Despite its humble nature it is an oasis of yummy things that transforms normally drab walking food into an almost gastronomic experience.

The third day of walking and mum did not appear to A) be dead B) have sun stroke C) be crippled or D) be grouchy as hell. All of these things we felt were a distinct possibility. In fact she was doing well and receiving many positive comments from the other walkers who were impressed that a lady of her age was taking on the challenge. The weather also played its part with the sea mist coming down and obliterating the sun meaning that the 4 hour walk without shade was not problem for hilly the intrepidus!

James led the advanced party and arrived as always at the accommodation before Hilary and I. Normally he was able to secure us a room for our exclusive use. Alas this was not possible on the forth night as there were only three rooms. Upon arriving he smiled sweetly (we as sweetly as he can) and suggested that I might like to sleep in the 6 bed dorm so that Hilary, he, Joyce and Dave could have the private room. In the end Joyce and Dave decided to sleep in a single bed as they were in sweet love and liked to spoon. We of course agreed subject to no hanky pinkie taking place. In the end Dave had headache so we were all safe!

Dinner again was a medley of food prepared by Joyce and I. Now this was really gourmet camping with bubbles to start a cheese platter, steak, salad, mash and veg. Not only did the shop provide food but also the garden offering up sorrel, day lily and rose pettles for the salad.

Post dinner and Pictionary came out bring together all of the other walkers. The two younger Germans who had been quite separate from the group were strong armed into playing. Joyce had suspected they were spies (she suspects everyone of this and yes is quite mad) but there jobs of working at an embassy and working for criminal intelligence did nothing the reduce this suspicion!

08/01/12