Luke and James go their separate ways… well for a day anyway!

03/08/11

James and I went our separate ways today. James went shopping and I explore the city. James pottered round a number of areas looking for nice clothes and some new shoes. He was distraught at the prices and lived up to our reputation for being a winging pom/ tight Yorkshire man as he appeared to tell everyone how much the exchange rate was hurting us. Upon returning home he moaned about the lack of ‘good’ shops. Upon further investigation we discovered that he had neglected to go to central Melbourne but had opted for more provincial areas like Altrincham.

James also brought a look of concern/ smile to a receptionist when he entered what he thought was a GP clinic. The receptionist reportedly frowned upon his entry as he had stumbled upon a lipo suction clinic. The receptionist was probably worrying about a conversation that went a little like this “I am sorry we can’t help you your thin enough’ James: “this is an outrage I want to see the doctor’ etc. etc. Fortunately James realised his mistake before engaging in any potentially embarrassing conversations. So the moral of the story… never let James go out on his own!

I had an adventure of my own. Deciding that the Australians were over egging there ‘winter’ I decided to walk into Melbourne central. The receptionist thought I was mad as it was a) winter and b) 1.5 hours away. Well I am glad I did walk as a passed though the botanical gardens, saw all sorts of plants and arrived in down town Melbourne a little hot as the sun was out.

After exploring the centre and doing a little shopping myself I headed to the law courts. As I had only been in Oz for 36 hours I was not appearing before the magistrate but instead wanted some warm and free entertainment. I was directed to court 9 where I was encountered by a magistrate who liked to dole out server justice and considered words an excessive premium best only used in moderation. I was in this vain I heard the defending solicitors try to mitigate there clients crimes before the magistrate handed down the most server penalty possible. The solicitors actively disliked the magistrate. This was clear by the faux bowing and scraping and the vicious comments made when the magistrate went for a wee during the reses. The gaggle of solicitors talked about how she was fucking harsh, always gave the maximum sentence and often exceeded her authority but not to worry the court of appeal usually wrote to her and the sentence was reduced! Owe

After another nice walk back to the guest house we settled in for dinner. Now it was like stepping back in time as the shop that I purchased our food from was Woolworths. Gone was the pick and mix and I was a whole supermarket laid out in a totally none depressing fashion. WOW if only this had been done in the UK???