The new statesman has the Arch Bishop of Canterbury, Have I got news for your does it weekly and I have Dr Hilary Hodge. The common feature is not ardent religious belief but there status as guest editors. .
27/28/29/30th June
I have been given an onerous responsibility – to write the blog for the last 4 days – I am sure that I cannot maintain the standards set by Luke – ie entertaining, amusing and very descriptive. However my son has delegated the task to me so here goes. Monday am I had to rise at 5.30am being in Manchester with Amy. Her response to me having to get up so early was in usual Amy mode – don’t expect me to have any sympathy for you – you are flying off to a tropical island. To be fair she had by 5.30am already been up to take Oli to Stockport station to get his train to London , had returned to the flat and gone back to sleep! So off I go. Luke had sent requests for all sorts to be brought out – I am sure much of it he could have bought himself particularly being in Singapore but his frugal nature felt it was better for me to lug the stuff out as I would then have paid for it. The consequence of this was that my case – having bought a new light weight one especially – weighed 26 Kg – weight restriction 20 Kg. Fortunately the elderly man (well a bit younger than me) chatted away whilst weighing the case took pity on me and just affixed a red label which warned the baggage handlers that it was very heavy and omitted to charge me any extra – phew! My next problem was that I wanted an aisle seat on the plane due to lack of mobility and difficulty with clambering over people -but despite him trying to alter the already booked middle of a row seat he gave up and said just ask the person on the end of the row if they would mind swopping seats. The victim in question turned out to be a delightful young Liverpudlian who said no problem hun. He apparently manages to spend his time traveling to and from Kwala Lumpar and home – when asked how could he afford to do this with usual Liverpool panache said its my girlfriend – she’s loaded and lives in Kwala Lumpar. The next surprise was that the plane was going via Munich – I hadn’t really paid much attention to the paper work – it did say one stop – but had given no details. When asking my new found friend whether or not we got off the plane the response was you just stick with me hun you’ll be fine. So there we go I had acquired a minder. Anyway the stop over in Munich took about an hour – we did have to get off the plane the down side being that we had to take the hand luggage with us which was a pain. Mine had become heavy due to the 2 litres of booze I had bought at Manchester – but more of that later. Once we had reboarded the flight time to Singapore was 12 hours – ugh. We were in the row behind the row next to the emergency exit ie the one with lots and lots of leg room. After we got back on the plane and everybody was on the Newzealander (sells rugby gear to English clubs – and obviously retired rugby thug – but I forgave him for that) sitting in the front row said why don’t one of you guys come and sit here – as no one else had paid the supplement to book those seats – so me now being in the aisle seat was in pole position to claim the bounty. Bliss I could stretch out to my hearts content – and my erstwhile minder got his aisle seat back. I had decided that the long flight was something to be endured so it was. We landed at Singapore at midnight UK time. However it becomes 7am Singapore time – so that is my nights sleep obliterated it’s the beginning of the next day. Oh well I wasn’t going to get any sleep anyway as I now had to wait to fly at 9.30am to Bali. On the plane we are handed out entrance and exit forms to be filled in plus a customs declaration form. Unfortunately I read what the limits for customs were – 1 litre of booze plus limited Balinese currency – both of which I had in excess. Now being British but more because one reads in the press of draconian penalties for straying from the rules in these countries I debated what I should do – to declare or not declare the booze which of course is easily detectable. I convinced myself of the merits of both approaches but decided in the end I was too tired to encounter any hassle with customs so I would declare the booze. The mistake was to fill the form in to that end. On reaching Bali the first thing you have to do is to pay 25 US dollars for a visa which I duly did. The luggage was put through the x ray machine again on entry – unusual to say the least so I thought well they will see the bottles clearly. However no reaction. I could have walked straight past the customs but I can’t now because I have filled the damn form in. I realise I have made a big mistake as soon as I talk to the customs man – he thinks I have got a right plonker here – I can increase my family income for the day substantially – he charges me 15 quid which promptly goes in his back pocket – my introduction to the way the world works in Bali. I comfort myself with the thought that his need is undoubtedly greater mine and I have helped his family – oh yeah! Anyway the villa owner is waiting to pick me up – he is Dutch – oh yes of course that is what the Dutch east Indies meant – I’d heard of it but had no idea where it was. The first impression is of heavy traffic, thousands of motor bikes, rubbish beside the roads and chaos. We are now traveling along this busy busy road with lots of small shops, people until we turn off and go along very narrow lanes with lots of houses of varying sizes, some with what is effectively their front rooms turned into open fronted shops selling very few things until we reach some more up market properties of which ours is one. It is called oasis and it is. There are 4 villas each one enclosed and private but opening onto a central area with a lovely pool and poolside furniture. It is now 2pm and I haven’t slept (although have dozed a bit on the plane) for 24 hours. I lie down on my bed and sleep until 6pm – bliss. I could have gone back to sleep then but decided I had better get up or I wouldn’t sleep during the night. At this point the thoughts of a cup of tea emerge – I’ve got the tea bags ( thanks Sarah for reminding me to bring them) but of course no milk. At this point I spy someone in the pool area so go out to make their acquaintance. Yes of course they can give me some milk. However, we get chatting and it transpires that their son was wandering round Asia several years ago alighted on Bali – met a girl, married her and stayed here living with her family. They have a 3 month old daughter. Mum and dad are here to see them had brought Mum’s sister and brother in law who on the 2nd day here had a heart attack and has been in hospital ever since. So Sarah Spain is but a stones throw away from grandchildren in comparison! Anyway I also see that Dad has got Wimbledon on so I come back clutching the milk and try to get the TV to work but can’t. Trot back helpless- so dad comes and gets it going for me. I now have a cup of tea and Wimbledon highlights – its still too early in England for live play. The couple also offer to buy us some essentials and bring them back for us later – how kind as we haven’t a clue where any shops are and are too tired to bother anyway. Just after 8pm Luke and James arrive. As you can imagine quite an emotional reunion – the booze I have brought is consumed in some quantity and we finally fall into bed at 2am. This now brings us to Wednesday – its difficult to know which day it is. The boys are in heaven just being at the villa – opulent surroundings a couch to lie on and joy of all joys a full sized bath. James occupies this for some time and is content to lounge about the villa all day ostensibly planning our activities for the week. Luke and I venture out to the local supermarket to buy supplies for the day. After an after lunch nap when the heat of the day is less ( Luke says it is the coolest place they have been so far – thank goodness says me for that) Luke and I explore the surroundings, find the beach and have a nice walk along by the sea – reminds us of Formby/Southport as the tide is out a long way. We return – Luke gets a nice salad meal ready while I watch Wimbledon and James still maintains his reclining position and all are happy. Thursday is another pottering day but we decide to book a car and driver to take us out for the day tomorrow. I have a delightful swim in the pool before the sun gets too hot. Now Luke can’t understand why his guest blog editor is taking so long – he is about to check my work – well at least it is not written in dyslexia format!
The long term editor approves of the guest editors work. So much so he hopes she may return later in the week.
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